Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Actions speak louder than words

So yesterday (Tuesday) I had a very strange day?

I woke up on a high and went to work yet due to a lack of sleep and now working on my own, my mind is led elsewhere and despite my harshest efforts, I fall down the horrible trap of thinking too deeply into everything. I spoke to Abi on the phone and knowing I couldn't see her for over 5 days and especially seen we hadn't completely sorted us. Mr bipolar strikes again and hits me hard this time, I go into the toilet at work and I cry. 5 minutes passes and I'm still in hysterics. Why?
I need to get out of here, I need to get out of work.

I ring Abi and tell her, I can't help but cry down the phone and tell her I'm just having a bad day. Again my fear strikes when I tell her this. Will she get freaked out by my bipolar?

I can only tell her so much, it's only fair.

I'm so much baggage and this is paranoia, bipolar and depression making me think.

THEN

Abi being her usual amazing self comes up with a plan, get a train to hers after work.

I can honestly say last night was one of the best evenings I've had with Abi so far yet we didn't do much, we didn't drink much, we just relaxed yet I found myself staring into her beautiful eyes as we lay next to each other still panting from our shared orgasms after the most amazing catch up sex.

Her eyes really do light up perfectly when she smiles, her cheek bones raise high and her gleaming teeth are laid bare as her lips curl up into the most perfect smile.

What feelings run through me now you ask?

Security. The sense of feeling safe, I feel so relieved and absolutely estastic.

Abi truly is my sense of ecstasy and I doubt any drug or alcohol could push me to the stratosphere of happiness that she does.

Words cannot truly express how happy I was and I felt that last night I slept for the first time in my life.

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